Early Recovery Conflict Management

The journey between active destructive addiction, expensive clinical treatment, early recovery and consistent social stability, is fraught with Family and Relationship Conflict. It’s the one guarantee that very few programmes warn you about or prepare you for.

An integral component of the treatment programme at Bethesda Recovery, a Drug Rehab Centre in South Africa, is our practical and understandable ‘Conflict Awareness, Management, Resolution & Change’ seminars. Our aim is to equip our clients with relationship awareness and developmental responsibility so that they can return home and take 80% of the responsibility for creating a new normal for everyone around them.

Conflict is the energy which can both tear families apart and/or draw them closer to each other and it is this dual potential within each of us that The Bethesda Recovery Homes introduces clients and their loved ones to.

Individual relational empowerment is the seedbed of transformation in individuals, couples, families and ultimately out into our societies, and the addict or the alcoholic, who once sat central to everyone’s concerns and chaos, now becomes the person everyone wanted them to be.

The changes look and sound like this:


All of a sudden each family member commits to relational self-honesty, and everyone becomes a part of the solution.

There are 5 key Conflict Styles, 4 of which are deadly:

  1. The Teddy Bear – this is the ‘everyone must like me’ person, they deny themselves to keep everyone happy
  2. The Turtle – this is the ‘avoid all conflict at all costs’ mind-set, they sit passive and wait for every storm to pass but they never seem to grow and then explode every six weeks
  3. The Fox – they will ‘let you win a little so that they can win the most’, these guys are only ever honest in order to manipulate you.
  4. The Shark – this is the ‘there are only two options, winning and losing and winning is best’ – every dispute is a competition only to be won.
  5. The Owl – this is The Collaborator, the one who says ‘okay guys, everyone’s interests are important here, let’s find a ‘win-win’ situation, relationships are more important than personal agendas.

At The Bethesda Drug Rehab Centre, our Conflict Awareness, Management, Resolution & Change seminars call each individual to examine and then embrace how they have been contributing to the confusion around them.

It is a world-wide phenomenon that the majority of relapses back into active addiction take place because of Relationship Chaos, and basically, we believe, it all boils down to people not knowing how to disagree without falling out.