“We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs”
For step five to be effective we must have, without reservation put all our honesty into step four. The key words in step four are searching and fearless. Step four has called for us to face ourselves with courage and truth. Addressing shame, guilt and resentment on this level requires a depth of surrender not thought of before this life changing step.
My experience with step five was hard. Taking all the secrets, shame and guilt and presenting them to another person was what made it hard. Revealing to God what he already knew wasn’t difficult for me. By this stage my faith had grown, I could understand why I needed forgiveness for all that I had done wrong. Trusting the person I did the step five with, was so important. Otherwise my step four wouldn’t have been as honest as it was. I don’t want to give out advice to people but, assess who you are going to be doing your step work with because the work is going to be one of the most personal experiences you’re ever likely to go through.
Fear is FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL. For me this translated into being judged for the things I had done in my life and in my addiction. Having the knowledge I now have and going through that experience, I know nothing could be further from the truth. I wasn’t judged, I wasn’t locked up and beaten.
I was praised for being able to get as honest as I did. Something that is rare in this world.
The freedom that came once I had actually finished reading it all out was immense. Shame and guilt literally blew away in the wind when I burnt my step four. I decided I wanted to have a letting go ceremony. I stood alone and burnt it all, all the secrets, resentments, damaged relationships all gone, dead and buried.
All I can really say is, if you want the freedom you deserve and are willing to go to any length to get it then please put everything you got into the steps and into your new life. Trust me it’s worth it.